This morning’s news comes from Fort Pierce, Florida, where a woman called 911 and had this to say:
This is an emergency, If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one. This is an emergency.
The full story, with more excellent quotes, is here.

This photo is not photoshopped:

I repeat — not photoshopped! This is actually an attempt at smuggling! The smugglers were clearly hoping that the border guards would not stop them, but instead blame the strange mushrooms they ate earlier in the day.

Today I have learned two things that are unrelated to camel smuggling. The first is that the zombie genre was invented by the Smurfs. The second is that Mountain Dew contains ingredients that cause hallucinations, depression and memory loss. Do the Dew!

Today’s webcomic is from A Softer World: