War of the Tubes
I am not sure how I managed to reach the age of thirty-two without learning about this. There is an organisation out there which is truly inspired. It represents the best of a world connected by intertubes. It is awesome in concept, awesome in practice.
It is the Cardboard Tube Fighting League.
Born in Seattle, Washington, the league has spread to include chapters in San Francisco and Sydney, Australia. Philadelphia, New York City and Washington, DC are working towards opening new chapters according to the Facebook group. This raises a question: Why are there not more? In particular, why is there no league in London?
Clearly, London needs such a thing. It is something that could work in London, too — there seem to be millions of people here who seem to enjoy such things, and ample park space in which to hold impromptu (or promptu) events.
Potential organisers should begin by learning the Cardboard Tube fighting rules:
1. First Rule of CTFL: Don’t break your tube. In a duel, the last person with an unbroken tube is declared the winner. In the event that both participants break their tubes at the same time, the game is a draw, and both duelists are considered losers.
2. No blocking or swinging with your arms. No body slamming.
3. No stabbing. Lunges involving tubes are never allowed under any circumstances. Participants who exhibit this behavior, will be ejected from the entire event.
4. Try not to work the face. Hitting people in the face is heavily frowned upon and can force your ejection from the event.
5. Once your tube is broken you must stop fighting.
6. To participate you must be using an official CTFL tube, which will be provided at the event, and have signed a release waiver.
7. You may not block your opponents tube with your arms hands or legs.
8. Your tube must always be held near the bottom. Holding your tube in the middle at any time is illegal.
9. Shields are officially banned in tournaments.
The Big Bad Blog would also like to encourage potential organisers to follow the SF chapter’s lead and reward cardboard-fighting champions appropriately. Mr Topp awaits his invitation to the first ever London tube fighting event. Londoners can expect an announcement here the moment we learn of a tournament in the area.
Those elsewhere are encouraged to create their own league chapters, organise their own tournaments, and keep an eye on their local listings for events. Together, we can make this into a worldwide phenomenon of awesome. Those in Winnipeg and Long Beach are encouraged to take a look at their local Facebook pages.
Many thanks to izismile.com for introducing us to the concept with their photo compilation.
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too many rules! It’d be funner if it was a bit more laid-back – but a release waiver? sounds too formal to me, like everyone’s taking a it a mite too serious.
Too many rules? 1 & 5 are the same, and are barely even a rule — more like victory criteria. 2 & 7 are the same. Six rules — five of which seem to have been created to avoid injury/have a level playing field.
The final one — the waiver — seems normal enough, considering that this originates in the United States. Cardboard Tube Fighting would be quickly sued out of existence without waivers. We are talking about a country in which burglars sue the people they were robbing if they injure themselves during the robbery.
They just love their crazy lawsuits.
ah, America…
I just think you’d have to be very unlucky to hurt someone with a cardboard tube – but maybe I like my games too rough!
@Domi
Lucky? I see you haven’t really dealt with cardboard tubes a lot. At work we’ve put three man’s weight on one when it was vertical (naturally) without any problems.
So lunging with a tube I could fracture your skull. Put a little momentum and weight, use your back and shoulders and you’d be in hospital if someone gave a proper lunge to your face (or crotch) with a carboard tube.