Normally “you ask, we answer” looks at questions found in search terms. Not today.

Instead, a friend has asked some zombie-related questions.

We answer.

What is your favourite zombie movie and why?
A difficult, difficult question. And I might give a different answer on a different day.

Night of the Living Dead is, of course, the gold standard of zombie movies. It is easily the best zombie movie out there.

However, Shaun Of The Dead is more fun. It is well made, hilarious, and — of course — full of zombies.

But the question is not about which movie is best, or which is the most fun to watch. No — it is favourite. And the leader on “favourite” has to be Re-Animator. A movie so bad, it’s good.

What is the worst zombie movie? Why should we avoid it?
This question is much easier to answer: Re-Penetrator. A pornographic remake of Re-Animator, it is simply awful.

As for why you should avoid it … it is zombie porn.

What is your favourite zombie killing weapon of choice? Why?
My zombie killing weapon of choice is the sawed-off shotgun. There is just something beautiful and magical about zombie fighting scenes with sawed-off shotguns.

What was the first zombie movie you ever saw? Is it what hooked you on all things zombie?
I can’t remember. And no. Whatever that first zombie movie was, it certainly did not get me hooked. I did not care much for zombie movies until I was in University.

Do you have some kind of zombie escape/preparation plan prepared? If so what is it?
No, I don’t. The problem is that zombies are not real. So having plan seems foolish. I should plan on more probable scenarios, like an invasion of mutant spider monkeys from Mars.

If you were making a zombie movie who would be in your ideal cast?
I have made a zombie movie — well, been in one, anyways. I’m pretty proud of it.

If you were writing a zombie movie what scene/stuff would you absolutely put in the script?
I think there needs to be a good base-jumping scene in a zombie movie. And also a zombie movie set on a submarine. These probably would not be the same movie.

If there were a zombie movie being filmed near you would you volunteer to be a zombie? Would it be worth getting covered in corn syrup/fake blood and going through make up to be in the movie?
Absolutely. Participating in the making of small films is quite exciting. It would be good to participate in a big one up close — I already feel a bit foolish about procrastinating my way out of an opportunity to be in Pirates of the Caribbean IV. Which, by the way, we are hoping finds itself with the subtitle “A New Hope”.

Joining in the “you ask, we answer” fun is now easier — as Mr. Topp can now be found on formspring! Interesting questions will make it here.

Photograph by Rachel Cobcroft