We don’t need no education
Maggie is two, as has been noted.
With the second birthday comes the two year health visit. This consists of a ten minute meeting with a Health Visitor – a poor job description, as I had to visit them – during which I reassure her that Maggie holds a pencil the right way and is reasonably balanced on her scooter (although she does like to crash, and dislikes moving quickly). I, in turn, am reassured that she is “hitting all her development milestones”, and is not so short that I should be worried. Though she is pretty damn short.
And a few more things.
“We’ll see you next year.”
“Her next set of vaccinations will be in about a year and a half.”
“You need to start looking into schools now.”
What?
Yes, now. Schools. For my two year old. And so my internet research skills are now flailing helplessly over the needlessly over-complex school system that exists here in Great Britain. In an effort to figure out how things work, I looked at this article, from Good Schools Guide, which charges parents in return for making some little bit of sense out of the school system. Which I scoffed at, at first, but am now seriously considering.
The article begins:
Pre-conception
Consider the pros and cons of September birthday babes; research suggests their August counterparts remain forever in their schooling shadow…If it’s already too late consider a move to Northern Ireland
The article was not kidding. It is actually suggesting that parents of children born in summer ought to move to Northern Ireland. What kind of fucking crazy idea is that? I mean – if you want to live in Northern Ireland, great. But if you live in say, London, that’s one hell of a move because your child happens to have a July birthday.
After reading a dizzying array of league tables, Ofsted reports, and who-knows-what-else, I now have a short list of things to do (mostly iterations of “check out this school”). And I have suddenly become a much bigger fan of private schools, if only because they tend to have less complex application procedures and no confusing catchment areas.
On the other hand, money.
So apologies if I am confused and rambling. But I am confused, and it makes me ramble.
Who needs an education, anyways?





Just for some perspective, my final year project is to design a plant that will produce 70 million liters of fuel grade ethanol per year from agricultural residues, and Josie has done more research on schools for Nicholas than I have for my project.
What I am finding works best for all major decisions is to decide what you want before you start looking. Josie and I have a list of specific criterion that Nicholas’ school must have or he isn’t going there. We did consider moving to achieve this, not to Northern Ireland, but just to a different neighbourhood of Toronto. We were planning to move in the next 5 years anyway, and one of the criteria for the next house is close to the school we want Nicholas to attend. So what you are talking about sounds vaguely familiar.
Hey you live in the UK, see if you can find Maggie a boarding school that exclusively communicates via owls. I hear those schools are fun.
Those special boarding schools don’t start until she’s 11 unfortunately. We need to find her an owl-free school in the interim.