To the asshole who prepared my hotel room:
Haha! You got me. There’s an alarm clock on the bedside table, and I naively did not double-check it for accuracy before going to bed. So when my daughter woke up, and the clock said it was 5:45, I figured I might as well stay up after getting her back to sleep.
The joke was on me, though — it was only 4:15! Ha!
At that point, I was prepared to blame the previous guest. But then I went to make coffee.
Oh, prankster, well done. You had stocked our in-room coffee area with decaf coffee only!
And here I was, with no cafes within walking distance open for nearly two hours! How you must laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
How your bosses must appreciate it the next time I’m traveling, and say “but not the Westin, if it can be avoided.” How your co-workers will surely appreciate it when my tipping turns miserly.
Well done, sir. Well done.