We just now realised that this is a Friday the 13th. We apologise for the lack of gore in today’s morning coffee. We should have planned ahead. Instead, we realise this only after having picked out an entirely gore-free Friday coffee.

In news that everybody has already doubtlessly already seen, but for which we would feel remiss should it not appear in this space, Steven Slater knows how to quit a job.

(Hobbiton, once the pride of New Zealand the Shire, is now overrun with sheep.)

I am so happy that Edgar Allan Poe has joined twitter: I have stared with dread into the craggy sockets of the abyss & marveled at its resemblance to Facebook.

More on how your initials impact your life. Children who have a first name that start with an “A” have a tendency to outperform those with a first initial “D” in school. The theory is that we live up to our initials. We will experiment with this for my baby. She will have awesome initials. FAST, and encourage her to be a runner? LOOT, and encourage her to be a bank robber? We will see.

Strippers? Pornography? This morning coffee is going to be popular with the search engines.

We begin with pornography. Lyndsey G shares her thoughts about the impact of pornography on our sex lives. It is a fantastic look at how our environment shapes our expectations, and face-coating climaxes. Here’s a particularly fantastic excerpt:

As recently as the ’80s and early ’90s, facials weren’t all that common, but to look at porn today you’d think some Porn Pope had issued a Pop-Shot Bull decreeing that facials were the only proper type of cumshot and must be used in Blue Films unto boredom.

(Solar powered airplane Solar Impulse in flight, piloted by Andre Borschberg. Photo by Fabrice Coffrini. Found at The Big Picture.)

Churchgoers picketing a strip club? Not morning coffee material. Strippers responding by picketing a church? That gets our attention.

Finally, the science of baby names … or at least baby initials. If they spell something good, your child will live longer. Spell something bad, there may be an early death. So avoid baby UGH, and go for baby ACE.

Turns out that the best poker face might be a bad one — emotional expressions can alter your opponent’s strategy where a blank expression would not.

(Elvis carved into the tip of a pencil, by Dalton Ghetti)

Do you hate phone calls? Do they make you feel like shooting yourself? Then you might appreciate this combination of child’s toy gun and bluetooth earpiece.

China is conquering the world … with cute … by launching the world’s first mass-production baby panda factory. Seriously.