Some nights, bath time is the best time of the day. Maggie cannot wait to climb in, splash around, and lather up. She never wants to get out; the bath is the greatest thing in the world.

Then there are nights when she does not want a bath. Where she is kicking and screaming before we are even in the bathroom, and she tries to slap away any hands that approach her, threatening her with washcloths.

Last night was particularly bad. She screamed — literally screamed — through the entire bath, and fought me the whole time. Complicating matters was the layer of food plastered to her face that had to be removed. There was no light, brief washing option available. It had to be thorough.

Several painful minutes later, it was done. She was clean.

“If you want to get out, Maggie, just unplug the bath and put the plug away.”

Maggie does not stop crying. She does not stop screaming. But she immediately moves to the end of the bath, unplugs the bath, and carefully puts the plug to the side.

Still screaming, the plug is placed beside her bath duck.

The screaming stops.

“DUCK!”

The plug is taken back from its place on the side of the tub. The flow of water out of the tub is stemmed. The duck is brought into the water. A smile is on her face. “DUCK!”

Yes, a duck. And crocodile tears.

I think that this Pikachu ski mask might be the most frightening thing I have ever seen. Which may mean that I need one.

(Photo by Tech. Sergeant Russell E. Cooley IV)

This morning, a new blog has been stumbled upon. Called My Parents Were Awesome, it endeavours to catch your parents, my parents, everyone’s parents back when they were younger and awesomer. It, unfortunately, fails to realise that your parents, my parents, and most parents continue to be awesome today.

To all parents telling their kids it’s bath time: Dirt only makes your children stronger. How do we know this? Science.