Mr. Topp and the Big Bad Blog

In the opening credits to Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, Peter Caine (played by Chris Foster) says the following:

“I’m a cop. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.”

I have always found this depressing, that a person might define themselves by one aspect of their life — their job, in this case. In fact, I find it so depressing that I have, from time to time, worried that others might define me by one aspect of my life. Sure, there will be the occasional person who knows me only through my role at work, or by virtue of my overlong decision-making process in front of the bread sticks at the supermarket. But these people, by definition, do not know me. They are not people that I sit down for a beer with, have dinner with, or informal conversations.

The manner in which the Big Bad Blog meanders from topic to topic is, in a sense, is an outgrowth of that. I have refused to follow the Blogging Rules. The Rules say that a successful blog must choose a topic and stick with it. While I haven’t managed to prove The Rules wrong — you won’t find costs being covered by blogging-related income here — the Big Bad Blog has served its purpose well as a vehicle in which I can write about pretty much anything I would like.

But I have a fear.

I fear becoming a Daddy Blog.

The Big Bad Blog is, after all, informed by my life. It is shaped by things I read, things I photograph, and the things I do. In fact, that’s pretty much all you will find here.

As a result, I wonder what will happen when my daughter arrives. When she becomes the focus of my thoughts, what happens to the Big Bad Blog? Will it become Small and Cuddly, instead?

The answer to this is both yes and no.

Fatherhood is coming, and it will form a big part of my life. And this corner of the blog that I have prepared for it and started to fill already — with stories about tacos and photos of Zardoz — will find itself in the limelight more often.

But there is no way that I am about to pull a Peter Caine, and say “I’m a father. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.”

The Big Bad Blog will probably look different after October. It is meant as an exercise in creativity, to force myself to write on some sort of schedule. That schedule, the box I put myself in to force myself to write, will have to change.

But it will never follow The Rules and be subject to easy classification.

That would be cheating.

While this probably will not impact most visitors to the Big Bad Blog, who either visit the homepage or get the full blog in RSS form, we are making a change for those of you who like to take advantage of our categories (and their corresponding RSS feeds).

Today, we are moving the Linking category to appear as part of our Morning Coffee category.

You may now think of links as your Weekend Coffee.

Or not. We don’t care much.

It seems to me that I have been reading a bit more of late about fear on the Internet. It is often dressed up as something else, but on reflection I am recognizing it as fear. People are afraid of change, of making mistakes, of taking the hard road, or of doing what they want to do.

A good instance of this was a question asked of the Blag Hag, elsewhere on these Internets:

i can’t deal with the statistical likelihood that somewhere, some business person with an opportunity that would help me will turn away from me because of some objectionable knowledge about me. because of my blog. if i blog. how do you deal with that?

I thought of adding my own answer in a comment, but realized that it was something I was thinking about anyways for here, and it would make a lovely introduction.

The answer is: If something about me is objectionable, it is objectionable. Hiding it will result in an uncomfortable relationship at best, or a falling out at worst, further down the line. I do not wish to find myself with an employer who will drop me the moment I spout an opinion, or a business partner who will leave a project halfway through (after investment, before return) when some piece of my personal life comes to light.

If anything, I would guess that the Big Bad Blog helps to filter these people for me. But certainly somebody who would avoid doing business with me over anything I have written here is probably somebody I do not want to do business with.

However, I think that the question goes deeper than blogging.

People are often afraid to try things at which they might fail, or for which there might be consequences. I am reminded of an anecdote found in Seth Godin’s blog some months ago:

Someone asked me where I get all my good ideas, explaining that it takes him a month or two to come up with one and I seem to have more than that. I asked him how many bad ideas he has every month. He paused and said, “none.”

And there, you see, is the problem.

Human beings learn from failure. Fencers do not improve themselves by winning all their bouts. Children fall down repeatedly in their first attempt at walking — to say nothing of potty training. Writers tend to experience years of rejection before their first novel is published. Michael Jordan was famously cut from his high school basketball team.

The bottom line is that self-improvement and success require adversity. We need to lose, fall, shit our pants, and be rejected along the way.

If you will only accept a life path where there is no risk of rejection, one without (perhaps insurmountable) obstacles, you will find it rare that “some business person with an opportunity” will come knocking down your door. And even more unlikely that you will be that “business person with an opportunity” yourself.

Do not be afraid to be yourself.
Do not be afraid to have an opinion.
Do not be afraid to make a mistake, or to be wrong.

I have been there, and took that approach for a long period of time. It was not very rewarding.

Life is better when you take risks, even when they do not work out.

To our question asker (who is unlikely to ever find the Big Bad Blog): If you have what — to you — are good reasons to write a blog, then write.

This morning’s coffee is dedicated to the multitude of searchers who find their way to the blog. I have stats that tell me what you’re looking for: eruptions, tattoos and ghostbusters. Also, I like mustaches.

So here you are, Internet. Everything you wanted to see in a morning coffee, but were afraid to ask for.

(Mount St Helens erupting in 1980, by Robert Krimmel)

(from Awkward Family Photos)

(Improv Everywhere recreates a scene in Ghostbusters, by Katie Sokoler)

(Part of a collection of foot tattoos at The Chive)

I hope I have developed a relationship to you today, dear readers. And that you love content. My content.