The morning coffee is online!

Here at the Big Bad Blog, we often like to point out that your favourite free websites are not free at all — you are paying for them with your content. We most often like to say this about Facebook, as they are the most blatant offenders, but this is also true of Twitter, Google, and most of the other services you likely use.

Twitter is not valued at $10 billion just because they spend a lot of money providing a free service with no benefit to their investors.

Anyways, we just wanted to say that we saw Backpacking Dad say something similar the other day. Thanks for that, Mr. Backpacking Dad. If more people would start realising this, the Internet would (we think) become a much odder place.

And we like odd things.

Photo is Did someone say hentai?, by Merrick Monroe.
Webcomic is XKCD by Randall Munroe.

This weekend coffee has plenty of animals

Are you like me, in that your browser is set to avoid tracking cookies and the like from following you around the Internet?
Then you — like me — will dismayed to learn that you can still be tracked despite your best effort.
Here at the Big Bad Blog, we have read several articles like this one, in which the author has given up soap and shampoo.
We might imagine trying such a thing, but are fairly certain that it does not mix well with fencing.
Here’s something amusing — ten commandments from the New Testament. They are amusing, because the crazed right-wing zealots who ask themselves “What Would Jesus Do?” never come up with these answers. They should.
Atheists are, apparently, considered unfit to serve in the US Military.
This wins the Big Bad Blog contest for best blog post of the week.
I’m always amused by news regarding the failure of TSA screenings. This is no exception.
Apparently a new measure of beer is about to invade British pubs: the schooner.
Reuters suggests that the schooner may end up bringing an end to the pint. While we here at the Big Bad Blog may find the word “schooner” too appetizing to not order one, we think this prediction may be a bit bold.
The New Yorker has termed investment bankers to be socially worthless.

This morning coffee pleasures itself

You have read the title, and likely already guessed it. This is hump day, and today we are all about the sex. More particularly, masturbation. Most particularly, those objects that individuals often use to self-pleasure.

That’s right. Sex toys. Quite probably not suitable for work.

Before we get to the toys themselves, we’ll talk about nipple clamps and electrocution. Hot, I know.

People should probably avoid attaching clips to their nipples and plugging the other end into an electrical socket. Yes, I am amazed that this needs to be said. But not quite as amazed as that an adult (the guy’s eighteen) who did this to himself is suing his teacher for not informing him it was a bad idea.

Here at the Big Bad Blog, we thought this was something that parents should have taught him as a child, before he ever set foot in a school. And we wonder — do his parents still keep the house childproofed so he cannot electrocute himself at home?

(Zombie Dildos, found via Warren Ellis, amongst others.)

The same people who made the zombie dildos also do other types of dildos. We are most amused by their Cthulu Dildos. Masturbation that will lead to madness.

But what to do with all these dildos? For one woman, the answer is to watch porn. And drive. While using her vibrator. All at the same time. Apparently this is not legal. Hands on the wheel, ladies.