Right now, I’m in Canada visiting my mother. I’m not staying with her, though — instead, I’m staying in a condo that belongs to one of her friends.

Said friends are not here — they’re out of town, missing the lovely weather which is so cold and wet that it has me longing for the glimpses of sun and not-rain that England provides — we are just using their condo.

Around this condo are things: an exercise ball, a chin-up bar. I find myself drawn to these things, almost forced to use them by their mere presence.

I am instinctively an active person. Under normal (or what used to be normal) conditions, I visit the gym, run and fence regularly. Maggie has changed this — taking an entire evening for a fencing practice (on a regular basis) has become impossible. Even running or visiting the gym, with their (relatively) short time commitments become chores, as time spent out of the home is, by definition, uninterrupted, hence it must be pre-scheduled and carved out of the day. Contrast with other time consuming hobbies which run roughshod over spare moments of time (such as blogging).

But throw an exercise ball into a room, and it has to be used. I am apparently unable to sit for two hours in a room with an exercise ball and not do sit-ups. To say nothing of a pull-up bar that shows me how weak I truly am.

Convenience, it would seem, is a powerful thing.

Now all I need is an extra room in my home for a home gym. Anybody out there know a contractor who can warp space and time?

I have no idea why we have a video of Ellen Page juggling. But we do. I mostly just wanted to let you, dear Internet, know that I seem to be excited about the movie Super, which has Ellen Page in it. Somehow this led to juggling.

We are incredibly sorry.

It should be noted that this movie looks far to similar to this story on the BBC about a caped home-invading-dog-stabber. Which I figure probably looked like this, if both the intruder and the dog were squirrels:

We should probably return to our normal morning coffee format tomorrow, right? Right.

Squirrel taxidermy photo found at Buzz Inn, where it was not credited.

We are a mere seventeen months away from the Olympics being in London, and you know what that means?

No?

It’s time for the people living near the Olympics to apply for the ability to buy tickets to the events.

There are issues with the system that we are trying very hard to ignore, because they are not what we wish to talk about today. For instance, only Visa customers are allowed to buy tickets to the Olympics. No Visa? Who cares how many of your tax dollars are going into the event, you are not allowed to be overcharged to watch it!

See? We have digressed already.

What we intend to discuss today is the events to which we intend to apply.

The determining factor

The key to enjoying a sporting event is to care about the outcome. If you are to watch something, and not care about the outcome, either you need to care deeply about the sport, or it needs to be spectacular. Preferably both.

Of course, the Olympics have built-in caring — I just need to look for the person wearing the maple leaf, and cheer for them. But it is easier when there is some sort of a connection to the athletes. This is why the American basketball and Canadian hockey teams enjoy so much popularity. The individuals on those teams are household names.

So while there are some events that we know and care deeply about, and can watch without caring about the outcome (hello, fencing), and others which provide eye candy (beach volleyball) or we expect are spectacular (we cannot help but think that live gymnastics will be breathtaking in person), nothing beats the emotional thrill of feeling that the outcome matters. Even moreso when the outcome is not in doubt.

Our picks

With that in mind, our choices for our ballot are made:

1. Men’s Triathlon: A fellow we played hockey with in our childhood happens to be a world class triathlete. He has two Olympic medals, currently, and it will be a blast to cheer him towards a second Olympic championship — or even just to a bronze medal, to complete his collection.
2. Women’ Foil (fencing): It seems unlikely that I will have any clubmates — past or present — fencing in any other fencing discipline, but there is a good chance that one or two of my training partners will be fencing in women’s foil. This lands behind triathlon, as there is some competition for the spots on the team, and the event is dominated by the Italians — it would be a huge upset should Britain pick up an Olympic medal in the event.
3. Men’s Foil (fencing): No clubmates here — perhaps even no Canadians — but Britain has a strong men’s foil team, and it seems likely that some of the faces on it will be people that I face in tournaments from time to time. It could be exciting.

Other fencing events, gymnastics and basketball get honourable mentions, in that order. I know the big names in fencing, and am familiar with the sport, as well as knowing the smaller names and faces from Britain and Canada. I want to see how incredible the gymnastic events are when seen in person. And there is a degree of familiarity with the names and faces in the basketball event.

Will I win the right to put too much money on my Visa card, though?

That’s a different story altogether.

Having fenced for years, it is perhaps not surprising that your blogger has a romanticized notion of the duel as a means of settling disputes, despite the awareness that it is a blatantly unfair and barbarous practice.

But, you know, swords are cool.

So it is with a little bit of glee that we can report that, in Alabama, an offended party challenged his offender to a game of chess, in order to settle a dispute.

Photo is Dynamic Duo by @slinkachu, from the Little People project.
Webcomic is Rob and Elliot by Clay and Hampton Yount.