There is a famous chain of fast-food hamburgers that runs an annual promotion based upon the Monopoly board game. I do not often eat at this fast-food hamburger chain, but not often is not never. Two weeks ago I entered one of these establishments to find the Monopoly promotion ongoing.

I ate a hamburger. I drank a carbonated beverage. I looked at my Monopoly pieces.

And I won! A free apple pie!

One does not turn down an offer of free apple pie, so I returned early last week and ate another hamburger, drank another carbonated beverage, and enjoyed a free pie. I looked at my new Monopoly pieces.

And I won! A free apple pie!

One does not turn down an offer of free apple pie, so I returned late last week and ate another hamburger, drank another carbonated beverage, and enjoyed a free pie. I looked at my new Monopoly pieces.

And I won! A free apple pie!

Dear fast-food hamburger restaurant that (for some reason) I have chosen not to address by name: enough already. I like free apple pie, I really do. But if you keep giving them to me, and I keep eating your hamburgers (and drinking your carbonated beverages) (and eating your pies) I will become fat.

And if I am to become fat, I would like the process to involve eating something a bit tastier than your hamburgers.

Note to zombie enthusiasts: If you are travelling to a zombie walk, zombie march, costume party, or other such event, and get in a car accident, you may confuse witnesses, who will think that your zombie appearance has been caused by the accident in question.

(Credited to one cocky eek. Found here.)

Everybody knows that The Times has erected a paywall that demands that readers pay money in order to visit their website. While a controversial move — and, in our opinion, one that is unlikely to be successful — it is also understandable. More difficult to understand is The Sun-Chronicle’s decision to charge readers $0.99 to comment on their articles. In addition to being charged to contribute to their website, the Sun-Chronicle also includes your full name and hometown, and associates it with your comments. Here at the Big Bad Blog, we think that if you do not want anybody to comment, you should just turn off your commenting feature.

In Taiwan, there is a crisis as Giant Mutant Hamburgers are breaking people’s jaws.