Planning a kidnapping, and wondering how you’ll deal with things when you have to sleep? One kidnapper solved this — or so he thought — by coming to an agreement with his hostages that they would not turn him in as he slept.

Only — surprise, surprise — they did turn him in. So he’s suing his hostages for breach of contract.

Fucking hostages. If you promise something at knifepoint, you should stick to it!

Photo origin unknown. Found at Eiknarf.
Webcomic is Happle Tea, by Scott Maynard.

There are dildos. And then there are historic dildos. Stone-age Swedish dildos, to be more exact.

(Found at FFFFound)

Clearly traumatized from decades of playing second fiddle to Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck has taken to molesting autograph seekers.

Also, for those of you who missed the big news: Einstein’s Theory of Relativity has been outed as a liberal plot. An evil liberal plot. And doubtlessly devious.