As far as crimes go “Amish beard-cutting attacks” stands out there pretty well as the sort of thing that finds itself covered in the Morning Coffee.

Throw in the fact that the Amish beard-cutting attacks were (allegedly) perpetrated by the Mullet family, and we can hardly be expected to ignore it.

Photo of women being arrested for wearing one-piece swimsuits found at half a bubble off plumb.
Webcomic is Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

Today’s morning coffee includes more lengthy reading than usual. I hope you’re well-caffeinated and ready to go …

We begin with a look at the economics of the newspaper paywall, which contains a pretty good argument regarding why the Times paywall is likely not working as well as they claim it is.

(Montana Thunderstorm by Sean Heavey. Found at National Geographic)

Here in the UK, the government has decided that it’s OK for the police to be racist.

And in Spain, a woman has claimed ownership of the Sun. Here at the Big Bad Blog, we are unsure of the exact dollar value of the sun, but we expect her kids will be none to happy when they get the bill for their inheritance tax.

A woman in Scotland opened up her canned pears, only to find that one of the pears had a ‘demonic face’.

(Game Over, by Kordiana Lewandowski)

Why you should never publish the complete works of Voltaire.

And we leave you with the story of Epic Beard Man.

National Geographic trips out! By which we mean that it takes a look at LSD.

(a garage door tarpaulin, by Style Your Garage, via toolmonger)

You always knew that Indian food was hot. Now it is weaponized.

I was also going to tell you that you can watch the Large Hadron Collider live over the Internet, starting from 7:30 GMT. But that was yesterday. I tried to delay it for you, but eventually they smashed things together anyways.