Some time ago, I posited that Maggie might actually be a zombie.

The signs were there. The moaning. The attempts to eat human flesh.

Now? I’m not so sure.

The true test is whether or not her bite turns others into a zombie, and teeth have yet to break through the gums and wreak their havoc upon our lives — the only thing certain about our knowledge on this issue is that we cannot be certain.

But she has grown rather articulate for a zombie, with multiple consonant and vowel sounds that she combines in some sort of experimental type fashion.

And she’s using a fork these days. Zombies do not, to my knowledge, use a fork.

Also, there’s this:

Yes, that’s my daughter reaching into her own grandmother’s mouth in an attempt to pull out her soul. Not nice, but not very zombie-like.

So clearly she’s some kind of monster. But what?

I will continue to report on this outbreak, from its source.

People have been saying it for years. But thanks to an April Fools’ Day joke we finally have evidence — video games can steal your soul.

Finally — proof of time travel!

Want to learn to speak German? You can study and immerse yourself in the language. Or, you can take the easy way out and have yourself a 24-hour coma.