Karen and I have a lot in common, as you might expect, us being a couple and everything. But there are areas in which our interests diverge.

Take television programming, for example. While we both like cheesy, and we both like reality dance television, and we both hate Paula Abdul, I prefer a heavy dose of geekery while Karen prefers crime drama. I can watch the most wince-inducing Smallville episode and come back for more. Karen can endure more back-to-back episodes of Murder She Wrote than you or I would otherwise believe humanly possible.

What can bridge the divide?

How about a crime drama set in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld?

I think we have a winner.

Photo of Snoop Dogg and Darth Vader from Hollywood Grind. Actual photo credit unknown.
Webcomic is Professor Hobo, by Justin Young and David Rothwell.

So we have been bookmarking a lot of articles about piracy lately, presumably with an eye towards writing something on the subject. However, we do not currently have an original narrative running through our heads in regards to the subject.

When this sort of thing happens, the results ain’t pretty. The links get buried behind newer links, only to be discovered when no longer topical. They are then decommissioned, and forgotten.

This being Friday, we decided to try something new — we will just dump the whole thing out in the coffee and see what falls out.

So … we have A photographer suing Rhianna, claiming that his photo shoot with the singer provided the inspiration for her latest music video.

India fighting against the copyrighting of Yoga poses by releasing traditional poses as public domain material.

Movie studios managed record box offices in 2010. Again. Still the studios are claiming that movie piracy is destroying their business, meaning that we will continue to be exposed to those ridiculous advertisements before movies and on legitimately purchased DVDs.

Also, 3D Printing has had its first copyright fight.

Perhaps you can sense why we have a lack of narrative forming.

The first two seem (to us) to be fallout of the third. The movie industry — and its friend, the music industry — has such clout that it has managed to warp copyright law into a giant hammer. This hammer is so big that its mere existence creates abuse (the second example), and the continual attempt to end “fair use” provisions creates an environment where artists feel like they are owed for having inspired others.

Let’s be honest — being inspired by somebody’s artistic vision, making a music video on that basis, and not hiring that person in some sort of role for the video is a pretty dick move. But it’s not a copyright violation – or, at least, it should not be. There is a difference between being inspired by and copying something; a video is simply not a copy of a photograph.

And the 3D printing? Well, that’s the future of copyright battles. Before the movies, we are told “you wouldn’t download a car”.

But why not?

Image from seemingly everywhere on the Internet. Original creator unknown.
Webcomic is Red Meat by Max Cannon.

My inbox contained a new e-mail last week. This is not strange.

The e-mail was from Sky — my television and broadband provider. This is not strange, either. They often send me e-mails.

What was strange, though was the bit of marketing that was in the e-mail:

So, to answer Sky’s questions:

Do you know that feeling where you discover something special?

Absolutely. I have discovered many special things during my life. Seeing my daughter for the first time. Falling in love. Moving to London.

These things all invoke very different feelings, but there is a similarity between them. An excitement at the new, at staring at an unknown – an unknowable – future, and knowing that your life is about to be better for it.

Like when you first paused Live TV?

No. Not like that at all. VCRs were around when I was a child — I am uncertain if I have ever had a remote control lacking a pause button.

And is anything on TV actually live any more? We are under the impression that even sporting events had a short tape delay.

Or that sense of anticipation you felt when you discovered that the new series of your favourite show was coming in high definition?

No. Although I am geeky enough to occasionally be excited about a new series, I cannot even fathom being excited by news that it is going to be in HD.

I like HD, mind you, but it really isn’t something worth getting excited over.

That’s The Better Effect

My impression is that you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Dear Sky,

Please immediately fire your entire marketing department, and replace them with … anybody else, really. We cannot imagine that the current department’s replacements could be much worse.

Sincerely,
Mr. Topp

Top image was delivered by Sky to Mr. Topp’s e-mail. It is an actual marketing message to Sky customers.
Bottom image was found at this Tumblr. We have no idea who made it.

Perhaps the most bizarre recurring stories in the news are those that centre around Anna Chapman. (Not pictured above. That’s Scarlett.) Ms. Chapman is, if you will recall, the “sexy Russian spy” who was caught in suburban America and sent back home to Russia in a prisoner swap.

Weird enough.

Then she becomes engaged in Russian politics, which keeps her in the papers, but is not really that noteworthy. Russian spies-turned-politicians are not exactly new. But now she is making a break into television, hosting a TV show called Mysteries of the World. Based on this BBC article, it sounds like a Russian version of Unsolved Mysteries.

If you are asking yourself what?, then you’re right there with us.

What happened to the good old fashioned spies? The ones who would fall in love with the people they were spying on, resulting in grossly unprofessional — but story-worthy — conduct? What’s that? They now work for the police in Britain?

Alright, then.

Photo is of Scarlett Johansson, found at Things that excite me. Origin unknown.
Webcomic is Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weiner.