Ladies, are you tired of unwanted attention from the gentlemen out there? Science has an answer: Make them smell your tears.

(The Splinter by Eric Stafford.)

Alright, ladies. So the gentleman in question has smelled your tears and is no longer interested. He makes a peace offering: a vibrator. Don’t take it! It could be a vibrator bomb!

Attention: One-armed flame-retardant Texan drummers! Somebody is looking for you.

As with everything else in the world of the Big Bad Blog these days, your morning coffee is random and not quite according to the usual formula.

Two images, offered without comment. Clicking them will send you to from whence they were found.

Tired of rock-paper-scissors? Is it too simplistic? Is it time to upgrade?

If so, the Morning Coffee presents to you Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie. Enjoy!

(Because we apparently cannot get enough of pigs in Wellies. This pig is named Cinders and is owned by the Keebles. There is a second photo in the Daily Mail.)

Will the Democrats become the dominant political force in Texas? Maybe not in the current election cycle, but it’s hard to see how a political party that has decided it will ban pornography, oral sex, gay marriage, sodomy and strip clubs if elected can win elections. Who, after all, dislikes blowjobs?

I’m always surprised when I see articles (like this one which express the opinion that women’s (or girl’s) sports are soft or docile. Such opinions can only be formed by people who have never watched women’s (or girl’s) sports.

Want to freak out a monkey? Create images or video of nearly-but-not-quite realistic monkeys, and they will freak right out. As Science Daily reports, monkeys too have an “uncanny valley”. I also like how the article seems to indicate that scientists (or monkeys?) dislike (and fear?) the movie The Polar Express.

You’ve got to love Texas. Where else can a man go outside to clear some brush, and find a discarded anti-tank guided missile launcher.

Cracked gives the Internet some lessons on English vocabulary.