As you can see from the above photo, kids are not as innocent as they pretend to be. Professors at the University of Portsmouth, who have study the devious ways of the infant, characterize eight month olds as “deceptive”, and two year olds as “far more devious”.

Perhaps this explains why this man waterboarded his own four year old daughter. At a certain point, torture may be the only way to get them to admit to knowing the alphabet.

Or perhaps children are, in fact, innocent. And their rough treatment in the face of mistrust is what leads them to play the blues.