Links, featuring chainsaws, cats, corsets, and Anne Frank’s vagina

March 20th will feature a finger gunfight flashmob in London. The best part of Edgar Wright’s blogging of it is that YouTube will not let him embed videos from his own show.
Need a flashlight? This one is … tactical?
You should not put corsets on cats:

Do you know that cats can’t wear corsets? … They can’t stand! Not at all! They just fall over.
I know because I tried!

Jean Paul Gaultier

Also not for cats: body piercings.
A school in Virginia has pulled Anne Frank’s Diary from the classroom, following the startling discovery that a teenage girl mentioned her vagina in her diary.

The horror.

If you’re trying to avoid getting pregnant, it is apparently not advisable to give blowjobs at knife fights. You know. In case you’re into that sort of thing.
Hate getting into a cold bed? I do. That’s why I’m glad that bed warmers have now come to the UK.
Bob Dylan’s Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright. A cover version. On YouTube. with a ukelele.

Links, including coneheads and slutty cowgirls

coneheads Think static cling is harmless? Think again! It causes sterility (in rats). Those “fight static cling” laundry ads just got a whole lot more interesting.
Poker Face, the cover version. And no, I’m not talking about the Christopher Walken version. ampersand
cowboy The Muppet named Beaker makes a “meep” sound. “Meep! Meep!” This noise has been banned from a school. Those caught meeping will be suspended.
Worried that university students will do nothing but sit around and masturbate? You are not alone. slutty_cowgirls
elephant_fortune Ah, the sweet science of dismemberment: Blood and tissue splatter associated with chainsaw dismemberment.
Man walks to his own funeral. bumper_car
angry_penguin Meet Marty – a recovering Republican.
Aerosmith without Steven Tyler? Really? That’s something you expect will work? diving_in_a_tophat

The morning coffee goes hacking

Today, Iran’s PressTV reports that terrorists have successfully hacked President Obama’s Blackberry. The report appears to be based on the publication of the book Obama’s Blackberry by the comedy group Kasper Hauser.

Excerpts of the book can be found on the Fox News website. Dangerous stuff, indeed.

(Photo by Slinkachu)

A woman in California allegedly bought Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchberries for years, under the delusion that they were a healthy cereal that contained real fruit. On discovering that “Crunchberries” are not an actual fruit, she sued. The verdict is now in, and is a victory for everybody who thinks that we ought to be able to assume that people are smart enough to identify Crunchberries as balls of coloured sugar.

Is a traditional bayonet not good enough? Add a chainsaw. Want a crossbow on your machine gun? Go ahead. Cracked takes us through some over-the-top modifications of deadly weapons.

We close this week of morning coffees with some XKCD: