The morning coffee makes predictions

Predictions are funny things. On one hand, they’re a mug’s game — either sufficiently obvious to be worthless to the reader, or wild guesswork. On the other hand, it seems to be entirely human to try to guess what’s coming next. Taking wild guesses about the unknowable is both interesting and fun.

So it is with some amusement that we present Timothy Lee’s predictions for 2011, regarding policy and technology. We cannot help but find the stark, sad and humorous set of predictions incredibly awesome. For instance:

Multiple Wikileaks alternatives will pop up, and pundits will start to realize that mass leaks are enabled by technology trends, not just by one freaky Australian dude.

For our part, we predict that if we ever encounter a bag of Tortilla Chips in Jeanelle Mak’s packaging (above), we will buy it. We like tortilla chips, and that’s one awesome-looking bag.

Image is by Jeanelle Mak.
Webcomic is Martin, Angry Owl by Amy Crosthwaite.

Strange world, strange jobs

We live in a strange world, and as a result there are plenty of strange jobs out there. Over the past couple of weeks, I have seen a couple of these thanks to the blogosphere web-o-net thingy that I read on a daily basis. This has prompted me to search for more.

What started it all? The need for a Grateful Dead archivist. Yep — the University of California, Santa Cruz needs somebody to organise their Grateful Dead record collection. So, if you’re a retired hippie with OCD and would like to live in California, the perfect job has presented itself.

Shortly thereafter, I found out that McDonald’s is hiring. This isn’t strange, except the job is in Cuba. This is a little strange, but not as much as the fact that it’s to manage the Guantanamo Bay restaurant. If you don’t quite feel up to management, I’m sure they also need burger flippers and milkshake makers on a fairly regular basis. This could be the perfect job for you, if you always wanted to see Gitmo, but do not wish to join the military or become a terrorist.

A short search has now also revealed the position of “porn presenter” was recently advertised. However, in a recession it is unlikely that the job is still available nearly six months later. The job, presumably, is to introduce pornographic movies to an audience while being partially clothed.

If these are amusing you and you want more, I can also suggest that you visit — it seems like they give a weekly listing of the five strangest jobs they can locate on the Internet. This week features an ad for a Best Man at a wedding. Pay is $200. Must look good in a tux.

Our personal favourite from the business pundit archives dates back to August — in which a business plan seeks a Teleportation Scientist. Recession or not, a good Teleportation Scientist is hard to find — particularly in New York. For the many Teleportation Scientists who read the Big Bad Blog: This one may still be open. Dust off that CV and teleport yourself over to New York, pronto.