The morning coffee, poker face and pandamania

Turns out that the best poker face might be a bad one — emotional expressions can alter your opponent’s strategy where a blank expression would not.

(Elvis carved into the tip of a pencil, by Dalton Ghetti)

Do you hate phone calls? Do they make you feel like shooting yourself? Then you might appreciate this combination of child’s toy gun and bluetooth earpiece.

China is conquering the world … with cute … by launching the world’s first mass-production baby panda factory. Seriously.

You ask, we answer: Blow Up Dolls

Here at the Big Bad Blog, we sometimes like to answer the questions that led you here. If I spot a search term in the form of a question, and do not think that you are likely to have found the answer you were looking for, we clearly have some room for improvement.

On Friday, somebody arrived here after asking the question:

What do people do with blow up dolls?

That’s a good question, Timmy. For most people, the answer is simply to poke her face — though I am led to believe that various dolls have their holes placed elsewhere (or even have multiple holes, on the more advanced models):

But this is far from the only use that a blow-up doll has! For instance, I wanted to buy one a few months ago to use as a photo prop — I was at a photography competition and we needed to illustrate the phrase “and she grew”. A blow-up doll would have provided a humorous way to illustrate the phrase.

People have also been known to place blow-up dolls (and mannequins) in the passenger seat of their car in an attempt to disguise their inappropriate use of car pool lanes on highways — this has been confirmed by snopes — though it should be noted that the Big Bad Blog does not condone such behaviour. Not only does it seem a little immoral, but you would be caught, as new traffic cameras can tell the difference between people and dolls.

Of course, there is always the prank — in scenarios where the mere presence of something that is sexual in nature would be shocking, having a blow-up doll show up can provide that shock. In situations where ribald humour and pranking is in order, a blow-up doll (or sheep) can make a great prop. And, of course, you can be like the drivers in the carpool lane, and simply use a blow-up doll as a stand-in for a person (or a dead body) without the need for any explicit sexual context.

Finally, if you are well and truly disturbed, you can always go on a blow-up doll themed crime spree. Again, we do not recommend or condone criminal activity here at the Big Bad Blog. Blow-up doll themed or otherwise.

Links, including coneheads and slutty cowgirls

coneheads Think static cling is harmless? Think again! It causes sterility (in rats). Those “fight static cling” laundry ads just got a whole lot more interesting.
Poker Face, the cover version. And no, I’m not talking about the Christopher Walken version. ampersand
cowboy The Muppet named Beaker makes a “meep” sound. “Meep! Meep!” This noise has been banned from a school. Those caught meeping will be suspended.
Worried that university students will do nothing but sit around and masturbate? You are not alone. slutty_cowgirls
elephant_fortune Ah, the sweet science of dismemberment: Blood and tissue splatter associated with chainsaw dismemberment.
Man walks to his own funeral. bumper_car
angry_penguin Meet Marty – a recovering Republican.
Aerosmith without Steven Tyler? Really? That’s something you expect will work? diving_in_a_tophat